Here Come the Brides...

I was further thinking about Babyji today and just remembered that I wrote an article about a similar issue for the Global Wire News Corp. about a year ago. I hope you like it.

Here Come The Brides…
By Talia Whyte
Copyright 2004

Original Run Date: 1 May 2004

Parminder Singh has been spending the last three months organizing every detail of her June 5 wedding. “I have almost everything ready,” said Singh, 34, “Everything is a go, except for my part of my sari petticoat, which was a size too small. I am going back to the dress maker later this afternoon to get it cut.”

Every bride wants her special day to be memorable. What will make her wedding even more unforgettable is that Singh and her partner of five years, Mira Patel, will be among the first wave of gay and lesbian couples getting married in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. The first of such licenses will be distributed on May 17.

“I will be wearing a simple white dress,” said Patel, 31, “I am not too finicky about my attire. I am not as much a girly girl like Parminder. Furthermore, I have to worry about the food at our reception. We are just having our friends cook and bring traditional Indian food. Our friends are very important to us, so it is imperative that they play an important role.”

Singh, a venture capitalist, and Patel, a computer systems engineer, met seven years ago at a house party hosted by a mutual friend in New York. It was love at first sight. “I fell in love with Parminder’s eyes immediately, so big and brown,” said Patel, “We were friends for about a year or so before I got the guts to ask her out. Since then we have been together like peanut butter and jam.” Singh and Patel have lived together as a couple every since in four different states before finally settling in near Northampton, Massachusetts. “We chose to live in this state because of its notorious liberalism and tolerance,” said Singh.

But the couple never dreamed same sex marriage would ever become legal, even in the left-leaning Commonwealth. As soon as they realized that such a marriage was actually going to become a reality, they started making wedding plans. “This is an important step for gay rights in this country,” said Patel, “We want to take advantage of this opportunity. Not all homosexuals in this world have the same opportunities.”

In India, where Patel and Singh immigrated from, homosexuality is still a taboo subject. Gays and lesbians are routinely harassed, incarcerated and raped in prisons in the South Asian country. The internationally-acclaimed film, Fire, was banned in many theatres throughout India because of its main subject about lesbianism.

“If I had stayed in India, my family would have forced me into an arranged marriage,” said Singh, “I would have had a miserable life if I had stayed there. I would have feared for my life.”
“Parminder and I don’t talk to our families in India anymore,” said Patel, “They don’t think homosexuality is compatible with our culture. We consider our gay friends and our friends of color our family now.”

As they put the final touches on the ceremony, the couple thought about their future together. Having children and buying a bigger home are high up on their list of things to do. The newly-found freedom to marry brings with it opportunities that were once reserved for heterosexual couples. However, there are still fractions that would still like to ban same sex marriage in the Commonwealth. The Massachusetts legislature will vote next year on whether to create a ban on such marriages and legalize civil unions. If the ban passes, Massachusetts residents will get a chance to vote on the matter in 2006.

“We could now live in peace for now,” said Singh, “I don’t know for how long marriage will stay legal or our union will be recognized, but we are still going to have a wedding that looks like any other straight couple’s wedding. Most importantly we know how to love and cherish each other. We both have the utmost respect and honesty for each other. No one can take that away from us.”